TEACHER’S CORNER

Parenting: Letting your children deal with their own conflict

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Butterfly_210

By Tamara Sherwood A woman found a cocoon of a butterfly and a small opening appeared. She sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further. So the woman decided to help the butterfly. She took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.  The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The woman continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body. Neither happened! In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly. What the woman in her kindness and haste did not understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved. Sometimes struggles are exactly what our children need in their lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple them. Wait a minute, if our children are struggling

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Mediators/Facilitators in the Midst of Our Own Conflicts

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Eileen Hyatt

By Eileen Hyatt   When I facilitate an RJ circle for elementary, middle, or high school students, I sometimes greet them by saying, “You are about to do something many adults do not have the courage to do, Talk face-to-face about their conflict.” I sometimes wonder if mediators and facilitators of restorative justice circles have ever themselves chosen the experience. I am suggesting  they take off their facilitation hat and be participants in a process around their own conflict as a way of gaining insight into the minds and hearts of those they facilitate.    It’s not as if we don’t have the opportunity, as we would all have to be spending our lives in bed if we think we have no conflicts. And when our conflicts have consequences, loss of sleep, lost relationships and jobs, or just plain tension and distraction, we should ask ourselves why we do not engage in what we encourage others to do? I have brought my conflicts to a mediator more than once and would like to share some general thoughts about what it feels like.   First, it is humbling. No wonder people are reluctant to come to the table or the circle! We pride ourselves on handling our

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Whole-School Change to Build Safer, Saner School Communities

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At The Conflict Center, we have been working on shifting the culture of schools from punitive to restorative practices.  It is great to see similar results from other agencies in different states that help validate the success of restorative practices.  The following article “Restorative Practices: Whole-School Change to Build Safer, Saner School Communities” written by the International Institute for Restorative Practices, talks about the great results of restorative practices in schools. http://tinyurl.com/3dwhzmd Tweet

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What … Peace Day?

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What … Peace Day?

by Maria Fenton Those readers who have been around the Conflict Center for more than 10 years may remember Peace Day Events. Some newcomers may be hearing about Peace Day Events for the first time. In either case, the Conflict Center is happy to host their first Peace Day Event in over a decade at Place Bridge Academy on May 11, 2011.   Peace Day is a day of celebrating and thinking about peace, what it means, how it looks and, what actions are needed to create it. The Conflict Center brings together staff, interns, and trained volunteers to run Peace Day activities, crafts and co-operative games with elementary school student’s grades K- 5.   In an interview with the Conflict Centers Schools Program Coordinator Vickie Samland, she was asked, “Why did you choose Place Bridge Academy to host Peace Day?” She stated,  “We chose Place Bridge Academy out of the five schools that we service locally for several reasons, however it was not an easy choice. First they utilize and play a considerable role in the Denver community. They have over 1000 students accommodating over 63 languages from all over the world. They consider themselves a mini UN.  We

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Ray Broscovak: Our success story

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Ray Broscovak in action

By Becci McCormack Jan. 18, 2011 “Mad at the world for years and years, not knowing what to do about it,” is how Ray Broscovak describes his youth. His personal story of a crummy childhood gives him the foundation with which to relate to children and teens who live in tough situations. Today as a volunteer instructor at The Conflict Center, Broscovak invites youth who attend his classes to talk openly about sensitive subjects like racism, anger, prejudice, and being teased for being different. Open communication is the key. “Why do people get teased?” Broscovak will ask in his class, then hand someone the talking piece. They talk about being different, in color, language, size or style. These are very important subjects to teens. Identity and belonging is important at school, at home and with their peers. Once they talk about why they are different, they begin to understand that being different is not bad. Teaching comes naturally to Broscovak, in the past he’s taught baseball, football and golf. “Ray’s found a niche in teaching youth, Diana Higuera, Marketing and Communications Manager at TCC, say’s, “Teaching seems to bring him life.” Broscovak’s love of teaching radiates from him as he

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The Importance of Social Emotional Learning

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by Brenda Tracy September 2006 In 1995, with his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman popularized the notion of emotional intelligence.  Since then, the term “emotional quotient” or “EQ” has been commonly used to differentiate individuals’ emotional intelligence from their cognitive intelligence or “IQ.” The Conflict Center utilizes the idea of Social Emotional Learning in all of its programs.   Social Emotional Learning takes into account the importance of enhancing a person’s ability to actively listen, identify and manage feelings, respond with empathy, carry out effective decision making, and to make healthy personal choices.  We consider all of these soft skills as essential to increasing a person’s ability to succeed in life by building relationships and solving problems effectively using their emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is now recognized as essential to being intellectually and emotionally available to learn and to enter into effective relationships with peers and co-workers in schools and organizations.  Without a good understanding of one’s own social and emotional abilities an individual can remain emotionally limited in the options he or she has to get needs met, to make things happen, or be able to ask for what is needed. According to

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What is Social Norming?

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by Maggie Helseth August 2007 Social norming is a concept that has historically been used to prevent and reduce alcohol and drug use among high school students.  Here’s how it works: As a general rule, middle school and high school students want to fit in with their fellow students.  For many, “fitting in” means doing what they think most of their peers are doing.  For example, if a student thinks that most of her classmates regularly drink alcohol, she will be more likely to drink. Time and again, studies among high school students suggest that the majority of high schoolers do not, in fact, regularly drink alcohol.  However, the majority of high schoolers think that most of their peers do regularly drink alcohol. A social norming approach to reducing alcohol consumption would, thus, involve educating the student body on the actual norms – in this case, that most students do not regularly drink alcohol.  One would expect that, once students were educated on the actual norms, the rate of alcohol consumption among students would decline, as, again, students generally want to adhere to the norm. The concept of social norming is not only used to reduce alcohol consumption.  It can,

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Cyber-Bullying: a New Trend in Violence

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by Pearl Bell June 2008 Bullying for years has been stereotyped to show the scene of a larger boned, bigger kid picking on the smaller almost wimpy kid at school by pushing him into a locker. While this stereotype of physical bullying does exist, bullying has become much more subtle and almost invisible to track. Verbal and emotional violence is more pervasive and can be more detrimental to youth in our society and our schools. Teachers and administrators have become more attuned to gossip and rumor spreading but without help from other students some forms of bullying are still under the radar. Cyber-bullying involves the use of information and communication technologies to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behavior by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others. (Wikipedia Definition). This can involve e-mails, text messaging, picture messaging and other uses of everyday technology utilized in today’s society. Because this form of bullying is less tangible it becomes even harder to track but has caused many youth a lot of pain. This video offers a first hand emotional look at cyber-bullying. Cyber-bullying Video What can you do to stop cyber-bullying? If you are being bullied or if you witness

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Online Learning: the New Frontier of Education

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by Mitzi Hicks June 2008 I am a full-time college student and I attend classes every day.  At the same time, I get lost whenever I have to visit campus, and I have never set foot in a classroom.  How is this possible?  Online learning.  Every day millions of students attend classes by traveling no further than their laptops, offices or libraries.  Online classes, which were a novelty just a decade ago, have moved into the educational mainstream. Today it is common for traditional on-campus students to incorporate one or more online courses into their schedules. Online classes also have a home outside educational institutions.  The Conflict Center is preparing to introduce online Anger and Conflict Management classes which will allow participants to combine the flexibility of online education with the tried and true lessons TCC teaches to reduce physical, emotional and verbal violence.  We here at TCC are excited about taking our classes into the new frontier of online learning! Flexibility is one of online learning’s greatest strengths; being able to take classes without committing to a set schedule of class attendance has enabled thousands of working adults to return to school and pursue higher education.  The following are

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Restorative Justice Recommended Reading List

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by Pearl Bell September 2008 Restorative justice is a broad term which encompasses a growing social movement to institutionalize peaceful approaches to harm, problem-solving and violations of legal and human rights. These range from international peacemaking tribunals such as the South Africa Truth and Reconciliation Commission to innovations within the criminal justice system, schools, social services and communities. Here at The Conflict Center we utilize these theories and practices as a basis in many of our programs, specifically in our School Programs.  If you are interested in learning more about Restorative Justice here is some recommended reading.  The first two books are books that we provide to schools and in our workshops/ trainings on Restorative Justice. The little book of Restorative Discipline in Schools by Lorraine Stutzman & Judy H. Mullet The little Book of Restorative Justice by Howard Zehr The Little Book of Circle Processes : A New/Old Approach to Peacemaking by Kay Pranis Just Schools: A whole school approach to Restorative Justice by Belinda Hopkins Creating the peaceable school by Richard Bodine Peacemaking Circles- From Crime to community by Kay Pranis, Barry Stuart & Mark Wedge The little Book of Conflict Transformation by John Paul Lederach Beyond prescription:

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