RELATIONSHIPS

The Third Side

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By Vickie Samland, Program Associate Spring 2004 The provider, teacher, bridge-builder; the mediator, arbiter, equalizer, healer; the witness, referee, peacekeeper. Which one of these roles do you play? At home? At work? At play? William Ury is an accomplished mediator and social anthropologist. You may recall he was a keynote speaker for our Ambassador of Peace event several years ago. At that time he had just published a book, Getting to Peace, which has recently been released under a new title, The Third Side: Why We Fight and How We Can Stop. Now workshops are offered to train participants in the Third Side perspective, understanding its possibilities and how to create a Third Side plan. The Third Side roles are divided into those that prevent, resolve, and contain conflicts. Repeatedly throughout a Third Side training Ury explains that prevention is the most important aspect of the many roles of the Third Side. The work of The Conflict Center is very much about the prevention roles as we teach skills to solve conflicts, to build relationships, to manage anger, to develop positive parenting techniques. Our trainings and curriculum enhance capacity for nonviolent conflict for persons of all ages and abilities. In

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Madame Solutions

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Spring 2004 Dear Mme. Solutions, Our store has a policy of hiring disabled workers on a brief, rotating basis. There’s daily stress, but for the most part we are team workers with the exception of insulting remarks made by some of our employees. These comments are really negative because these co-workers make a real deal out of it; making explanations out loud about these workers. We don’t have supervisors, and at least one floor manager is involved. How can I take this up with my co-workers who are doing these insults on my shift? Concerned Employee Dear Concerned Employee: Congratulations to your employer for taking a stand and walking the talk of inclusiveness. And, good for you! Your awareness of the negativity in your workplace tells me that you are sensitive to people with challenges you don’t happen to have. We all have some challenges. Talking this situation out with your co-workers is a great idea. How about getting together, being sure to include that floor manager, to problem solve. First step is to define the problem. So, what exactly is it? I suspect that you are not following your corporate culture plan. Has the atmosphere in which you work

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